Everything that can be shaken / 2018-Dec

Train Ride

As I came home this evening,  got on the wrong train. I intentionally did so as I did not want to wait around 10 minutes for my train.

Missed my jump off.  And, got off on the next one.

Switched directions and was good.

A young man was talking to himself and in between played his music a bit loud.

Made sure not to look in his direction.

And, doubly made sure “No eye contact”.

Finally, eye contact was forced as he intentionally bumped into me on his way to the “Standing Room” on the Train Bus.

The eye contact was affectionate and affirming. The way things are supposed to be.

He made ruckus with a few people.  Stared into an older man and threatened to beat him, if he hears anything.

As he got off the train, he spoke of looking forward to the day we get to see him on TV.

Thanksgiving Dinner

Takes me back to Thanksgiving dinner at my big brother’s home. Made friends with a man visiting from a foreign country.

He told me how bad things are in his country of origin.  A made man, yet he was scared about forthcoming elections. He deployed all the corruption and said that there will be wide unrest if things don’t get better.

I asked him if faith, specifically the religion we share can help.

He replied NO, and continued that he does not think so; the problems are simply too big.

Bruce Springsteen

Link

“A lot of what’s going on has been a large group of people frightened by the changing face of the nation,” Springsteen told Esquire magazine in a separate interview. “There seems to be an awful lot of fear.”

The founding fathers were pretty good at confronting their fears and the fears of the country. And it’s the old cliché where geniuses built the system so an idiot could run it. We are completely testing that theory at this very moment. I do believe we’ll survive. But I don’t know if I see a unifying figure on the horizon. That worries me.”

I don’t know if there is a way to really bring those jobs back and I think that’s what’s causing so much anxiety to so many Americans,” he said.

Springsteen talked his father’s experience to illustrate what he understood as reason for the  frustrations of voters.

“My father worked as a 16-year-old floor boy in the rug mill, then went off to war,” Springsteen told the Times. “When he came home, they shut the rug mill down, and he went to work on the Ford Motor plant line in New Brunswick. He worked in the Nescafé plant in Freehold. Worked in the plastics factory in town, he was a truck driver, a bus driver, drove a taxi.”

“I don’t know precisely what I’m going to do this time, but I tend to think the more you make yourself available, perhaps the less weight your word carries,” he said.

Bible Verses

Hebrews 12:26-29 ( Link )

At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.”

The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

Let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe

2nd Peter 2:10-11 ( Link )

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble

Bruce Springsteen :- “the wheels can come off a little bit”

Background

Personally, there are a few people I will pay to listen to; as I know they are sharing intimately and not trying to sway.

Bruce happens to be one of those very few people.

Esquire Interview

Bruce Springsteen gets candid about his mental health issues: ‘I’m on a variety of medications’ — or ‘the wheels can come off a little bit’
Link

Bruce Springsteen’s memoir Born to Run detailed his long history with depression — and he’s revealing more about his mental health battle.

In a new interview with Esquire, the legendary singer, who’s wrapping up his one-man show on Broadway next month, talks a lot about growing up the son of a paranoid schizophrenic. Springsteen, 69, also gets candid about his breakdowns — the first in 1982 and another in 2009 — and how he keeps his mental health in line.

Springsteen’s relationship with his father, Doug Springsteen, cast a shadow on him for much of his life. The star got some answers late in his dad’s life, when he was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia, before dying in 1998. His father never told Bruce that he loved him and often sat brooding in silence in their family home. While his father’s diagnosis explained much that Springsteen had not understood, it also made him worry for his own mental health and his family’s.

“I have come close enough to [mental illness] where I know I am not completely well myself,” Springsteen revealed to the magazine. “I’ve had to deal with a lot of it over the years, and I’m on a variety of medications that keep me on an even keel; otherwise I can swing rather dramatically and … just … the wheels can come off a little bit. So we have to watch, in our family. I have to watch my kids, and I’ve been lucky there. It ran in my family going way before my dad.

Springsteen talked about his first breakdown when he was 32. It was the time he released Nebraska (much was about his troubled upbringing) when he was road-tripping with a friend from New Jersey to L.A. On a late summer night, they drove through a Texas town where a fair was taking place. A band was playing, couples were dancing, kids were running around, and The Boss — from his car — watched the happy scene and cracked. He still doesn’t know what it was about that exact place and time that so affected him.

“All I do know is as we age, the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier … much heavier,” he said. “With each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher. … Long ago, the defenses I built to withstand the stress of my childhood, to save what I had of myself, outlived their usefulness, and I’ve become an abuser of their once lifesaving powers. I relied on them wrongly to isolate myself, seal my alienation, cut me off from life, control others, and contain my emotions to a damaging degree. Now the bill collector is knocking, and his payment’ll be in tears.”

He said the breakdown led him to therapy — and it transformed his life. Not long after this, as he and his wife, songstress Patti Scialfa, were expecting their first child together, Springsteen’s dad came to visit and they had a ground-breaking moment. “You’ve been very good to us. And I wasn’t very good to you,” he recalled his dad saying. (In Springsteen’s show, he called this “the greatest moment in my life, with my dad.”)

In Springsteen’s book, he wrote about a second breakdown soon after turning 60 that lasted three years, which he described as an “agitated depression.” He told Esquire that he never contemplated suicide then or at any other point in his life. However, “I once felt bad enough to say, ‘I don’t know if I can live like this.’ It was like … I once got into some sort of box where I couldn’t figure my way out and where the feelings were so overwhelmingly uncomfortable.” He had “no inner peace whatsoever.”

While he wasn’t hospitalized, maybe he should have been. “All I remember was feeling really badly and calling for help,” he said. “I might have gotten close to that and for brief, brief periods of time. It lasted for — I don’t know. Looking back on it now, I can’t say. Was it a couple weeks? Was it a month? Was it longer? But it was a very bad spell, and it just came. … And it came out of the roots that I came out of, particularly on my father’s side, where I had to cop to the fact that I also had things inside me that could lead me to pretty bad places.”

Springsteen said he never tried to take his life during his weakest moments (protesting, “No, no, no”). Then the interviewer brought up Anthony Bourdain, asking if Springsteen could understand how his suicide could have happened.

“Well, I had a very, very close friend who committed suicide,” Springsteen replied. “He was like an older son to me. I mentored him. And he got very, very ill. So, ultimately, it always remains a mystery — those last moments. I always say, Well, somebody was in a bad place, and they just got caught out in the rain. Another night, another way, someone else there … it might not have happened. They were ill, and they got caught out in the rain. … I don’t know anyone who’s ever explained satisfactorily the moments that lead up to someone taking that action. So can I understand how that happens? Yes. I think I felt just enough despair myself to — pain gets too great, confusion gets too great, and that’s your out. But I don’t have any great insight into it, and in truth, I’ve never met someone who has.”

 

Listening

  1. Bruce Springsteen
    • Bruce Springsteen – One Step Up with Lyrics
      Link

 

 

Ending it all.

Bearing the news

I ran into a friend this weekend.

He tapped my shoulders and fessed that I might not see him much longer.

He continued that he is thinking of ending it all.

He caught my attention and I looked him straight.

My look must have betrayed my feeling.

The immediacy of my thinking as to why.

He responded that he has AIDS.  His HIV had transformed into full blown Aids.

He furthered that he takes 24 pills a day.

Sharing the news

He said he called his mum and told her there was no more reason to stay here, alive.

And, that the next world must be better than this one.

He spoke of being so dispirited as he opens up and shares the news.

And, how the part that pains him the most is how people kept him at bay and how they no longer wanted to shake his hands.

Yes, some people embraced him.  But, they did not want “Skin to Skin” contact.

 

Losing the Glow

He spoke of being destruct.

The only thing he felt good about is keeping AIDS at Bay.

But, now that his HIV status has transitioned to full AIDS he no longer even has that.

I asked him how he found out and he said that he knew something was wrong has he started losing weight and that he has already lost 50.

 

Listening to

  1. Blaine Larsen
    • Blaine Larsen – How Do You Get That Lonely
      Link
  2. Ronan Keating
    • When you say nothing at all
      Link

 

Summary

I like it when there is nothing to say.

I have another friend, Michael, who has AIDS, as well.

And, he always reminds me of “Perfect Love“.

Drake And Lessons in Life

Background

For me there are so few people that I can actually journey through life with.

Drake with his vulnerability happens to be one of them.

Videos

  1. Album :- Scorpion
    • Inspiration
      • Videos

Quotes

  1. Drake
    • Into You
      • I took that energy and put it into me
    •  Career
      • “I think maybe one of my biggest concerns in my career is just to figure out how to exit gracefully,” Drake explains. “I’ve watched people overstay their welcome, and I just don’t ever want to be that guy that’s addicted to the feeling of victory, addicted to the emotion of people digesting something that they love, and get to the point I’m just feeding them something and they’re just like, ‘Yeah…'”
        • Videos
    • Chris Brown
      • Drake Says He Doesn’t Want To Be Associated With Chris brown
      • Quotes
        • In an interview with GQ Drake is asked about the altercation with Chris Brown, he said: “I hear he has everything he could want now. I don’t want my name to be synonymous with that guy’s name. I really don’t. I wish we could sit down, just like you and me are right now, and talk it out man-to-man. But that’s not going to happen.”
        • Date Published :- 2013-June
        • Links
    • Meek Mill
      • “This really gave me peace of mind tonight. Healing and moving forward created one of the most electric and gratifying moments of my career,” he wrote. “@meekmill I’m happy that you are home and that we could find our way back to our joint purpose.”
  2. Jayceon Terrell Taylor
    • I know all about losses

 

Closing

Nice for what
Link

Punk’d

Background

Grew up watching the show Punk’d.

Quickly developed a boy crush on Ashton Kutcher.

He made everything look easy & smooth; forever spoilt by it.

Today

Today feeling the same way.

6:30 AM Train Ride

As I rode the train into work, a young man came in.  He immediately picked a fight over a bike parking spot.

He affirmed that the area being occupied is there for bikes and others should move; especially another man standing there.

I think, based on how the request was communicated, the current occupant refused to move.

The biker was not very happy that his wish was not immediately acquiescence.  He started shouting and clearing the pathway for a fight that he was going to pick.

He continued that he had the same problem in prison with the same people.

And, made it known his Aunt just passed last night and he was in no mood for the current state of affairs, especially today.

Unfortunately, I was standing close to the Intercom and I was elected to communicate the state of events to the Train Conductor.

I reluctantly did so.  Upon being asked by the train conductor for the Bus Number, I replied as the number was right underneath the speakers.

The Train continued on.

But, the mood did not soften.

Words was communicated to another man.  Somehow the biker guy said that this new man was not his brother either, but he looked past everyone and said I was.

At each stop, the young man with the Bike asked the other man to meet him outside so that they can settle the matter.

The spot owner refused to meet outside.

After a couple of stops, a Police Officer came in, placed handcuffs on the biker and led him off the train.

Standing outside, the Police Officer asked us whether anyone was harmed.  And, we replied No.

12:30 PM Lunch

As I went to lunch, ran into my home girl.

She was happy to see me and offered that she just came back from Down South; not far from where I grew up.

And, that she was there for two weeks.

She was walking her dog and she spit knowledge like she prone to.

Can’t talk enough about and for her.

Too deep and so let us save something for Spoken Words; in her case Toast Masters.

Less we go too far, for once, let us remain topical.

As her dog used the bathroom, a young un-sheltered lady approached and started talking at her.

The new lady let my friend know she should stop following her.

We turned around shortly after that.

We are only able to go for short spasms before we had to look back and tend to the words being spitted at us.

Finally, I had to tell the “un-sheltered” that this is my friend and if there is a problem she can take it up with me.

Gladly she replied that all she needed was 85 cents.

And, I said yes I have that.

Brothers, standing by, let us know that were being punked.

I supposed they could tell we were unaccustomed.

My friend went down the stairs to the train and the other lady and I went to the store.

As someone who never has cash, thankfully it is only $2.50 to get funds out of the ATM.

A little less than that to my new friend.

She promised to pay it back to my other friend, the next time she sees her.

Free and Clear

Family, let us continue to keep it Free and Clear.

Keep it simple.

Listening to G-Dep.

And, so that is that and this is now.

He implore us….

Have God work through us.  Never placing aside the act of contrition.

Telling people how we feel, is often considered as an act of weakness.  And, so sometimes it has to stay in same circle.  But, at least that way we get it off our shoulders.

Nothing really Intricate.

What is cool and what is not not.  What it means to be a man.

Listening

  1. Kierra ‘Kiki’ Sheard
    • Hear This – Kierra ‘Kiki’ Sheard
      Link
  2. Trin-I-Tee 5:7
    • Trin-I-Tee 5:7 – God’s Grace
      Link
  3. Kevin Michael
    • Kevin Michael – It Don’t Make Any Difference To Me (ft. Wyclef)
      Link

Addendum

@ 2:00 PM

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@ 3:29 PM

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Nick Cannon

Background

It is good to see these young men grow up in front of us.

Videos

  1. Kehlani
    • Nick Cannon on Getting a Homeless Kehlani a Furnished Apartment (Part 6)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published :- 2018-May-2nd
      Link
  2. R Kelly
    • Nick Cannon: R Kelly Can’t Read, That’s Why He’s Attracted to Immature Girls (Part 4)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published On :- 2018-Sept-12th
      Link
    • Nick Cannon on Working with R. Kelly and the “R. Kelly Syndrome” (Part 5)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published on :- 2017-Dec-15th
      Link
  3. Mase
    • Nick Cannon on Attending Mase’s Church, Mase Misleading People (Part 12)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published On :- 2018-Jan-4th
      Link
  4. Entertainment Industry
    • Nick Cannon Calls the Energy in the Entertainment Industry “Dark & Demonic” (Part 4)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published on :- 2017-Dec-13th
      Link
    • Nick Cannon: Hollywood Started with Studio Heads Sleeping with Actresses (Part 2)
      Channel :- djvlad
      Published on :- 2017-Dec-7th
      Link

Videos ( Bonus )

Ne-yo

  1. R Kelly
    • 2007: WOAH ! Ne-yo Explains How AWFUL Touring With R Kelly Was #HELLACLASSIC
      Profile :- After singer Ne-yo decided to go on tour with r kelly, things quickly turned sour as the two musicians almost instantly ran into problems. Here Neyo explains how difficult it was to tour with r kelly and some of the things that happened that eventually made neyo quit the tour.

      Channel :- hella classic
      Published On :- 2017-July-26th
      Link