Soft White Underbelly:- Crack Addicted Trick interview – Patrick ( Child of God )

Videos

Introduction

  1. Soft White Underbelly
    • Introduction
      • Videos
        • Video #1 Channel:- Soft White Underbelly Date Published:- 2020-February-22nd Date Added:- 2021-March-7th Link

Stories

  1. Crack Addicted Trick interview-Patrick
    • Profile
      • Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Patrick, a crack-addicted trick in Los Angeles.
    •  Videos
      • Video #1 Channel:- Soft White Underbelly Date Published:- 2021-January-16th Date Added:- 2021-January-27th Link
  2. Crack Addict interview-Patrick (follow up)
    • Profile
      • Soft White Underbelly follow up interview and portrait of Patrick, a crack addict in Los Angeles.
    •  Videos
      • Video #1 Channel:- Soft White Underbelly Date Published:- 2021-January-30th Date Added:- 2021-January-30th Link
  3. Crack Addict interview-Patrick (February, 2021 update)
      • Profile
        • Soft White Underbelly update interview and portrait of Patrick, a crack addict in Los Angeles.
      •  Videos
        • Video #1 Channel:- Soft White Underbelly Date Published:- 2021-February-20th Date Added:- 2021-February-23rd Link
  4. Recovering Crack Addict-Patrick (March 2021 update)
    • Profile
      • Soft White Underbelly update interview and portrait of Patrick, a recovering crack addict in Los Angeles.
    •  Videos
      • Video #1 Channel:- Soft White Underbelly Date Published:- 2021-March-27th Date Added:- 2021-March-27th Link

Transcripts

 

Crack Addicted Trick interview-Patrick

  1. Why do I have the biggest addiction of any human being ever?
  2. So inconsiderate and ingregocios
    • The antidote to that feeling is to take another crack hit
  3. Addiction:- “Lack of Choice it is
  4. If I take this hit
  5. Changing my view about death being a negative thing
  6. Just man up
  7. The broken part is the mental thing
  8. I have a mental thing that only the supernatural can break
  9. The secret of addiction is knowing you gonna have to use
 

Crack Addict interview-Patrick (follow up)

  1. God
    • I hope that God might take away that broken thing in my brain
    • Fight
      • The fight is never successful
      • It might be successful at single instances, but never overall
    • My own strength always fails
    • So the idea is that God will remove it
    • Like a lobotomy
    • Like something other than the need comes and I succeed, I hope it just does not come
    • The triggering mechanism needs to be removed by something other than me
    • The same brain that caused the problem can not solve the problem
    • 12 Step
      • The 12 step process tries to get you in the position that God removes it
  2. Chase
    • Chase – trying to recapture the very beginning of when I first started
    • Streets
      • Streets Culture
      • When I first started out, we want
  3. Change
    • We never really change
    • We might do better
  4. God
    • Change
      • AAA meetings
      • Maybe I did not know them before they started changing, but you could tell they are changing
    • Angles
      • Looking at the world from angles
      • One thing is for sure, God is real
      • That God is real, is one thing that I certain of
      • All these that I have I can accept it and not worry about it
      • Cause God is real
    • Life
      • Going about life with the one priority been to help somebody else
      • There are people that do that has a practice; has a way of life
      • And, that is sort of the goal
      • To build that way of life
      • To do little things
      • To do little things and go back and see some of the things that came up through some writing
    • Launch Out
      • And, you are able to launch out
      • And, help other people like me
      • I know people like that
      • They are very like that
      • Very attractive
      • Those are the guys that I want to be like
  5. Extreme
    • Help
      • Religion
      • Exercise
    • Does not Help
      • Selfish
        • At its core of this thing is very selfish
        • Drug Addiction is a selfish thing
    • Help
      • Antidote
        • The antidote is to not think of yourself at all
        • The antidote to selfishness is to go help somebody
        • What can I do for this person
        • What can I do for that person
      • If so
        • Mark
          • Does it take courage?
          • To me, courage is a big part of all this
        • Patrick
          • I think courage comes along the way
        • Mark
          • It does not appear to be discipline
        • Patrick
          • No, Not discipline not to use
          • Yes, discipline can help
            • Not discipline not to use
            • But, disciple to do the right thing
            • Yes, discipline to right your path each day
          • Commitment to help somebody
          • Feel better when I helped somebody else
          • But, Why is it not sticking?
        • Mark
          • Altruistic and Kind
          • Impact your self worth significantly
        • Patrick
          • get past 6 months, get past 9 months
        • Shame
          • drug addictions
          • sex work
          • creates shame
  6. Rehab
    • Enter Rehab
    • Go to the east coast where I have some friends
    • And, go try again
    • Mum
      • Mum says go try again
  7. Die
    • What other choice
      • Die
      • Homeless
  8. Care
    • Prestige
    • Money
  9. Long Term Rehab
    • I am happy
  10. Teen Challenge
    • The highest percent of clean
    • No Money, but who cares
  11. Older I get
    • Alternate paths of life that can create happiness
  12. Quick Sand
    • get out of the quicksand that you are in
  13. Difference
    • You will see the difference between me not high
    • And, me high
 

Recovering Crack Addict-Patrick (March 2021 update)

  1. Clean Addict
    • Clean Addict in recovery
    • God
      • Turn your whole life over to God
      • Grieve
        • Still going through the grieving process
  2. Cancer
    • Encounters
      • Twice I have been diagnosed with cancer already
      • Melanoma Cancer ( Skin Cancer )
        • Infection Point
          • Head
          • Lymph Nodes
        • Treatment
          • Chemotherapy
          • 3 years of infusion
        • Helped
          • Helped cover for drug addiction relapses
        • Regular Checkups
          • Originally, every 3 months
          • Now, every 6 months
        • Reemergence
          • The last check-up they found something
            • In my neck/lymph nodes
            • In my Liver
          • A couple of years ago
            • We were worried
            • And, had to get a biopsy
    • Perceptive
      • This addiction is so narly and so depressing
      • My addiction is the only thing that is bigger than my cancer diagnosis
      • This disease leaves me off better than I would have been ever otherwise
      • Helping People
      • Worried about cancer but not worried about everything else
      • For me, I am worried about everything else, but not the cancer
      • That is why we make such a good team
  3. Addiction
    • Disease
      • If you get through this disease, it gets you better than if you have never been through it
 

 

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