Alexia Smith, Starfire

 

Background

While in ministry there is a lot of stories heard.

I am really touched with this lady’s care as she opens up her heart and soul.

Videos

  1. [RE-UPLOAD] The ugly reality of my last relationship – Starfire
    • Profile
      • Upload date: 12-16-2018 Starfire talks about her relationship with Juice in this deleted video.
    • Videos
      • Video #1
        Channel :- WRLD Archives
        Link
  2. Q&A
    • Profile
      • talking rock music, how i met my boyfriend, self love, my opinion on death and other random answers to random questions. Count how many times I say “like” xD
    • Videos
      • Part 1
        • Video #1
          Channel :- Its Starfire TV
          Link
      • Part 2
        • Video #1
          Channel :- Its Starfire TV
          Link

Transcript

The ugly reality of my last relationship – Starfire

  1. Lyrics
    • Wanting to know BackStory
  2. Age Difference
    • Standing Behind Grown Men
  3. Together
    • Be with me
      • Every Show
      • Every Ride
  4. Homeless
    • Giving up apartments
    • Leaving in a car/out of a suitcase
  5. Dropping out of School
  6.  Diagnosis
    • Borderline Personality Disorder ( BDP )
      • Needing medication
      • Therapy
      • Anxiety
      • Feeling worthless
      • Make money and having my own thing
  7. Drugs
    • Self Medicate
    • Not Caring
    • High all the time
    • Floating along
    • Suicidal Thoughts
  8. Incomeless
  9. Hotel
    • Smoking Fees
  10. Clothes
    • No Clothes
  11. Physical
    • Physical with each other
  12. Tattoo
  13. Promise
    • Promise to be here
  14. Waiting
    • Homeless
    • Jobless
  15. Breaking Up
    • Breaking Up through Text
  16. Cheating
    • Laughing about cheating
  17. Clout
    • Clout Chasing

StoryLine

Metro UK

Juice Wrld’s ex-girlfriend says he ‘promised to stay alive’ for her before his sudden death aged 21

Link

Keeping Promises

  1. His ex-girlfriend, Alexia Smith, has spoken out about his death and their relationship in a heartfelt Instagram post.
  2. The pair lived together during their relationship but split in the summer of 2018 before he began dating Ally Lotti, his girlfriend at the time of his death.
  3. In her tribute, Alexia – also known as Starfire – said: ‘All I can say is that I never stopped loving you any less. You always said you wanted to change the world before you passed, and you did. You changed my world, your fans worlds and so many others. The second picture breaks my heart.
  4. ‘You promised to stay alive for me… you were never good at keeping promises but that was just one of your flaws that made you, you. I’m going to make you a promise I won’t break.’
  5. Alongside photos of them together looking happy and cuddling, she added: ‘I will keep your name alive and so will your fans. We won’t let you die twice. 999. Forever.’

Covering

  1. She said: ‘Seven days away from me, he ended up in the hospital. When he was away from me for seven days, he ended up hospitalized from collapsing on stage. One year away from me, and he’s dead.’

Daily Mail

Heavy Drug Use

Link

Getting Clean

  1. Smith admits that there were other problems in their relationship, saying Higgins was making her promises but would get so high that he wouldn’t remember what he had said.
  2. She was tired of living out of suitcases and hotels, begging Higgins to set up a home base so she could have an address.
  3. But things escalated while Higgins was trying to get clean.
  4. Smith said: ‘When you get [clean], it physically hurts and messes you up mentally.
  5. We started to get physical with each other and then he would just relapse because he couldn’t deal with how much it hurt. His body was in pain.
  6. My mom just always raised me that once its gets to that point it’s over with. And I told him that and he agreed.’

Support System

  1. She added: ‘It’s not that we didn’t love each other, it just wasn’t healthy anymore.’
  2. Smith said she believes that Higgins didn’t want to be addicted at the time of his death, saying: ‘He didn’t want to be on drugs anymore when he died. That’s the heartbreaking part.’
  3. ‘He was a drug addict with no one to tell him no and if he was told no, like by me or Ally [his current girlfriend], he would just do it behind our backs.
  4. ‘Addiction is a hard thing for anyone. Your mind says stop but your body says more.
  5. Smith added: ‘I’m angry more than anything. It’s wrong to point fingers but that’s how I feel. I’m mad at everyone around him.
  6. ‘Even if he did swallow the pills to hide it from the Feds, why wouldn’t someone tell him to flush them? Why wouldn’t someone else, take some? Why was he the one taking all of them?
  7. ‘I don’t know what the f**k happened in the past year, but obviously something changed, with the people.’

Your Tango

Starfire Is Juice Wrld’s Ex-Girlfriend — And She’s ‘Not Okay’ After The Rapper’s Untimely Death

Link

  1. Love You Always ( Starfire )
    • Women make amazing muses — and Starfire is no exception.
    • Gave her his heart and it changed his life
  2. Mourning
    • Stop asking me if I’m okay. I’m not [expletive] okay.  [ Link ]
    • just because someone carries it well, does not mean that it isn’t heavy [ Link ]
    • The pain won’t ever go away but I know one day the pain will transcend into a form that I can handle better. True pain never ends, just changes forms. The positive side is that love works the same way. [ Link ]

Heavy

Ally Lotti, Juice WRLD’s Girlfriend: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

Link

Covering

  1. silly girl will do and say anything for his attention. stop worrying abt him and his actions, he’s mine to worry abt
    ( Link )

My Take

With all the gifts in the world, we all hope that they are enough to get us through the cloud.

We have been told, they will be.

Been told, we are pretty enough
Nice Enough
Good Enough

On the Other Side
We find someone that seems ideal to share it with

Sometimes it works out
Often it burns out

Hoping to take the time
To fold them clothes

Get a plant
Bring it Home
Place it by the Window
Water it Slightly
Water it Sparingly

And, see if it takes root

See if the Heaven will let this one grow
Away from the Sky
Away from the Light

Summary

There is a lot that goes into creating and projecting a LIFE

Love Makes it Possible

The Girl’s Take

Of all the takes in life
Often one finds it is the girl’s take that is the deepest and truest
The more nuance

Take the time to listen, learn, hear
Nature & Nurture

Don’t be that guy
Don’t be the Man

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